The cricket world was yet again in shock last night as it was revealed that Kev Mason, the wily and respected skipper of St Michael’s Cricket Club (shurely shome mishtake? Ed.) had signed what he has described as the ‘ultimate Chinese international’, in the guise of Mao Tse-Tung.

Blue as a parrot in the face

‘He’s not dead, he’s just sleeping’, insisted Capt. Chaos when questioned over the health of his new signing. ‘Sure, we haven’t discussed a medical yet, but I’m sure Mao will be just the boost we need to revive our flagging performances.’

When asked what colour the sky was in his world, Mason replied that it was ‘purple, of course.’

Chairman Mao was unavailable for comment.